So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
