Only a mothe r could love this liver
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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