We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is it because I queefed?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
