If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
