Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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