Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
