Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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