my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
