Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
