R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
