so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
