yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
