She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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