Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
