I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
