Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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