it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
