Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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