Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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