yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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