he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My liver is preforming stress tests.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
