Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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