May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
