don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
