What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
