she looked like the bat from fern gully.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
