Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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