I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
