Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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