I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
