Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
