i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
ttyl tear gas
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
