hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know, be my cock's hype man.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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