I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Randomize
