There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
