I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
