If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
