I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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