You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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