ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
