I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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