ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
