I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
