i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I will be naked everywhere
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
