haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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