She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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