I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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