my mouth tastes like poor choices
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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