They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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