About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
