Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
