hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
