just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
