If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wear drunk well.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
