i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
