My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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