if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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