dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Watching her eat just hurts me
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Randomize
