I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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